Perspective from a dude that was here seasons 4-7, returned for season 11. Results have old feels and new impressions mixed in. Rankings follow the pattern of Bottom to Top
Fuckheads are the same wrestler. I'm labeling them as "Fuckhead B" and "Fuckhead 2" to denote them as equal, but to insist that neither is the primary character.
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The very few guys I wouldn't feel all that sad about if they left Captain Falcon M. Bison Mike Haggar Illidan Stormrage Goemon Zangief Ebisumaru
The guys that I like having around, even if I don't get hype, just because they have flashes of fun Octodad Kanji Tatsumi Professor Layton Zubaz Raijin
Guys I like for at least two reasons Scorpion Fuckhead B Fuckhead 2 Wario Air Man Sen. Steven Armstrong Guile Toad
Guys that make me smile Heavy Weapons Guy Demoman Miles Edgeworth Shinya Arino Break Man Adam Jensen Sonic the Hedgehog Gary Oak
Getting hype. now Barret Wallace Johnny Cage Bowser Ganondorf Solid Snake Donkey Kong Kefka Palazzo Ezio Auditore da Firenze
I am pretty much guaranteed to be entertained if they are on the show Phoenix Wright Segata Sanshiro Waluigi
These guys are perfect in and out of the ring. The elite entertainers. Groose Duke Nukem Red "The Badman" Vegeta Sabin Rene Figaro Dr. Robotnik Flint
I'm gonna bother to give these guys writeups Dan Hibiki ~ Theme music is great. The CAW is possibly the best in the league for guys that don't need a ton of detail. (Gotta give props to the insanely technical ones like Ganon, for example) The face is just DEAD. ON. It's impossible to not like this guy if you like Dan. He's handled well in plot. He's the ultimate flex-tool, too. You can make him heel or face as needed, and it's always believable. We get entertaining matches whether he wins or loses. Dan is the man.
Knuckles the Echidna ~ Essentially all the reasons I like Dan, only more of them are cranked up than are cranked down. Irrational love for Knuckles' theme. Love the move list. I can feel like, "yeah, that's definitely Knuckles out there." I have never seen a bad Knuckles match.
Dr. Wily ~ The perfect blend of being in character with being not in character. Wiley's so arrogant and self-assured in game, his entrance being one of Rio's is too perfect of a fit. And sure, he's an old man, but of course he has lucha. Does it make any sense? Not really. But when it comes down to it, wracking your brain, can you think of a different style of wrestler Wily would be than Lucha? Because I honestly can't. That's how you know you've struck gold. You come up with something that ought to be absurd, but it makes too much sense to NOT be true.
Nappa ~ With Gabe gone, the best big-guy in the business. Puts on a show in the ring, seems like he enjoys beating the piss out of littler guys. SO STUPID. I think costume change is part of why I lowered Vegeta and raised Nappa so high. I can't take Vegeta seriously in a pink speedo, but for Nappa, it just feels right. Everything about this character is just stupid and silly and hilarious, and that's that.
And the best in the business Dracula ~ Dracula is the best. Period. This isn't just a "Dracula's recent push" thing, either. I think I started watching at the perfect parts of Dracula. Season 4 was incredible, and honestly, he probably was the best GM. I loved the way Dracula handled business. In ring he's just absurd enough, with a mixture of mostly power moves, but like, for no reason at all, the Lionsault, and then, of course, the Frankensteiner, which is just there for puns, but it seems to work. Plot segments he's so casually evil and arrogant. He'll lie for no good reason. Evil for evil's sake, as opposed to a more nihilistic Kefka. Despite being a shitty wrestler at the time, he was a believable threat way back when when he was GM, because HE IS DRACULA. The CAW is fantastic. I feel like people that didn't play Castlevania would still see that and be "Yup. Dracula of some kind". Hell, just being Dracula helps. Public Domain characters are basically the best. The in match music, The entrance music and the cocky goblet walk into the ring seal the deal. This is a fully realized character. The best in the world of watching bad AI wrestlers.
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